Connecting trees

Ever since I read about his totem, a fox, I wondered what was mine.
If we were as close in the symbolic world as I thought we were in spirit, souls connected, intertwined.

I was always sure I belonged in the forest as well. Maybe a wild cat. A lynx comes very close. A test said I were a fox myself. I don't think so.
According to the Native American's Birth Totem I am a wolf.

All of a sudden it makes sense. All of a sudden, I belong in the forest, as I thought I do. I am as loyal in life as I will be beyond, as I am with him, now and forever. Like a wolf.
Like a wolf I am strong and would kill for him, for him to be healthy and protected. I would lick his wounds and warm him.

It all falls together. My dreams of thick Swedish forests, the wet, dark, mossy forest soil I can smell writing this. Us roaming about the woods, enjoying freedom.

As this will never be in real life, it will after. I know he will be watching, will be close, sly and cunning, showing me the way through the darkness.

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Next year I will be going to Sweden.
Other people are going to India to find themselves and I might do that somewhere in the future. It's on the list.
But in a year, there won't be anything more important than to visit the meadows and forests where he grew up, to feel him close again. To pay my respects.
To clearly show my enduring love, that will never cease.

Jag älskar dig, K. För alltid.
Jag kommer att lära mig svenska igen.
Du är min inspiration. En räv, jag älskar.