The day I feared the most has come.
I cried the entire night.
The world has become such a dark place.
So slow.
I feel as if someone has beaten me up for hours.
I slept in fetal position, hugging myself, holding a little stuffed toy. A fox, of course.
I was crying in my sleep.
I slept five hours, if not less.
I am crying now.
I broke down several times, until it was confirmed, until I was forced to believe.
Confirmation - I wish I never received it.
So many I's - and nothing is about me, it is all about you, Krille. All.
I might be the vessel of my pain, but I cry for you, for your life too short, for your children who will never be. I cry because of your family and friends, people I love as you do.
I hope you can float through space and it will be as orgasmic as you imagined it.
I truely do.
Nevertheless, I hate said space.
I will never in my life get around to understand or even accept why this has happened. Ever. Ever.
My sweet darling, I hope there is peace and love where you are.
I will always love you.
Always.
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